Many Thoughts.

So with moving and everything changing in my small pathetic world, Much reflection has been taking place. So many thoughts and it's been a great time to really look at where my life is and where I want it to be. A few things I've found in my evaluation:

1) I'm not in law school... am I closer to that goal? HUmmm... well working at a good job looks good on a resume? True story it does, however I do need to be much more focused on my goal. I could be studying more (i really took a dive after the Ruben break up) and alot more focused on finding a school.

2) Where am I as far as dating guys I would like to marry? Not very good. I have this syndrome, it's called being retarded. The last guy I "hooked up with" was not good. My first sign should have been when he said "your so much better than I am, and you really shouldn't date me." Word of the wise, when a "bad boy" says that, they generally are right... trust the girl who has been retarded for alot of years.

3) Am I closer to my family? YES! My nephew got graduated from High School this past week and sitting with my sisters, and sister in law I was totally comfortable. I love them and have solid relationships with them... thats AWESOME. Also... My nephew got endowed, and even though I didn't make it to the temple I felt really close to him. (people with similar goals are better friends? yes i did call my sweet angel nephew my Friend... best freind)

4) Am I moving along in a career I can be happy in? I am furthering my self along... however not in a career where I want to be forever. It's a good start right?

5) What am I doing for my physical body? I completed a colon cleanse (sounds bad but actually felt AWESOME) and went Jogging. It's amazing how much of the emotional and spiritual gets taken care of when your taking care of your physical body (it's like connected or something?)

6) Am i completing My daily spiritual tasks that I have committed to be completing? Ok so Myah (my niece) bugs me every night before bed to read the Scriptures to her. It's helped me so much... i need a kid just so they will make me do the things I'm supost to be doing.

So... Solutions to the "problems"

1) one of my main concerns going to law school is my GPA. I graduated with honors in poly sci however I didn't do too hot in some other areas of focus... I looked up a few of the education courses at Weber State and also Utah State extension courses and I think a Masters Degree is in the making. Pros: Higher GPA for Law School (and more career options).

2) Although not dating guys I want to marry, I am "hanging out" with higher quality people, and thus will (hopefully) end up married to one of those higher quality people. You marry who you spend time with right? Not that I want to marry any one that I am hanging out with, BUT my expectations of guys has gone way up AND when you surround your self with people who thing your awesome you start to think it too? thats the goal anyways.

3) I need to spend more time with my family. It's such a hard balance. As a single girl I should be out with friends Finding Mr. Amazing, however I feel like I'm missing out on my Nieces and Nephews lives... and my family is what is really important isn't it? I figure the answer is that when I'm with my family it's real time. Every moment is time with Aunt Cheryl and every single person in my family knows that I love and care for them... One on one real love.

4) Career, starting a new position has revitalized my spirit. knowing I'm young and only gaining vacation time everyday makes me look forward... THE WHOLE WORLD IS AHEAD OF ME.

5) Physical body. I've notice my physical body has been an issue whether I admit it or not. I'm not me. After my mission I think it took alot more time shaking off the mono, and I think there was a bit of depression after the Brian ordeal, and then accutane. SO now thats all in the past, time to get to work. I commit to doing the HCG diet and exercising 4 times a week (hopefully more). Ps... my skin looks amazing.

6) Spiritual!!! Church with a smile... thats a BIG one. maybe I'll switch it up and go to the spanish branch. it seems as though the church is more true in Spanish... lol but I'm half serious.

So those are some reflections... and new goals "projects." I'm just so grateful. I got to spend time with my Sweet friend Erika today, We've known each other since High school and she is facing a Huge mountain in her life. I have never never seen someone so strong. I am truly blessed to see her strengthen. Truly.

Also, my dear Friend virg and her Blog. I heard once that to have a successful day you have to accomplish 5 thing... 1) Laugh really hard 2) Get your emotions going and cry about something 3) have a spiritual moment 4) say thank you and be grateful 5) hug someone

With Virg's blog I'm brought to tears every day. Every day I start my computer in the morning and look at holly's blog. The music comes on and it's about being happy... I think about what that means to her and who it represents to her and I have my emotional experience.

it's hard growing old and seeing your dear Friends have pain. I wish it was all wiped away and the world was perfect. However, if that was the case, I wouldn't be writing this blog and feeling the need to be better. How grateful I feel.